Here’s a statistic for you: Nearly 1 in 4 new mothers in the U.S. return to work two weeks after giving birth. If you think that sounds pretty bad but can’t fully grasp why, let Quartz’s Maureen Shaw offer you some visual descriptions with her essay “The Painful, Hidden Hell That Awaits Mothers Who Return to Work Two Weeks After Giving Birth.” Spoilers: Vaginas. Tearing. So much blood.
Twelve weeks of paid parental leave would make a significant difference, giving moms time to recover, get the hang of breastfeeding, and bond with their new bundle, but alas, we are not there yet. What option do parents have now when they want more days at home with their newborns but can’t afford to take time off work? How about crowdfunding?
A platform created for this purpose is Take12, a maternity leave registry. It’s pretty straightforward—instead of asking your pals to buy you onesies or bibs or that $25 rubber giraffe, you register for the “gift of time.” Those who visit your customized site can give money to cover the various moments of a maternity leave—snuggles, shower time for Mom, a night of sleep.
“I understand the crisis of unpaid maternity leave because I have experienced it three times,” writes Margi Scott, the founder of Take12. “I am perplexed by the fact that working mothers are some of the most creative, focused, and determined beings I know, yet most of us venture into the transition of maternity leave and the return to work with little to no preparation. As result, we are left feeling defeated, alone, and overwhelmed.”
The concept of the maternity leave registry might take a while for the world to embrace. When one mom posed a similar idea on The Bump parenting forum in 2012, commenters wrote that it sounded “really tacky” and “would get major side-eye.” It probably still would. But hey, attitudes change. Ten years ago, I thought it was weird when people asked for money on their wedding registries, but now I don’t bat an eye when I see honeymoon funds or even straight-up requests for cash. Because, well, most people don’t need another crock pot or salad spinner. Just like most new parents don’t need another receiving blanket. What they need, more than anything, is time to adjust to this tremendous life change.
With Take12, users must enter the estimated amount of money they would need to take a full 12 weeks of maternity leave. Here’s their guide on how to come up with the number. However, to get a better sense of how much the leave will really cost, the new parent must account for much more than lost income. There’s childbirth expenses, life insurance or a will (because you need it once you have a kid), any support services (a doula, lactation consultant, baby sleep trainer or babysitter, perhaps) and actual baby goods.
Your friends and family may only be able to cover a tiny portion of that, but the point of the registry is also to “elevate the importance of sufficient family leave.” Of course, if we’re making a statement, dads should be included, too. A stigma exists for many fathers when it comes to taking paternity leave, even when the benefits are evident.
Take12 is helping launch a larger conversation, and that’s a start. Now enjoy that $15 snuggle, and don’t forget to send a thank you note.